Reviewer: Chris

Release Date: August, 2009
Label: Band Self Released

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*Comments:

Condemned to Live - Nuke First…Ask Questions Later

TRACK LISTING

1.  Night Kills
2.  Unholy Father
3.  Pile o' Dead Commies
4.  Preach Hatred
5.  God Below
6.  Destroy the Deceiver
7.  Nuke First... Ask Questions Later
8.  Can't Rape the Dead

Total playing time: 31:08

I don’t suppose it’s ever a good thing to sit and wonder exactly how you can stretch a review for the purpose of length and respect. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure what to make of Condemned to Live or the album Nuke First…Ask Questions Later. Well, sirs, I have questions…quite a few, actually.

First off, the production on this is abysmal; I don’t care if you’re an up-and-coming band, invest some personal capital into your music and show some pride or put off recording, plain and simple! What we have here is thirty-minutes of drowned, disheveled tunes that are so under-produced both technically and performance-wise it should be criminal. I am from the death metal era, so I don’t need lessons in the “kvlt” sound - Death, Entombed, Incantation… even NME had better production than this! It’s truly frustrating that in this day and age a band doesn’t take more care in its offerings to the fans, and that is honestly insulting.

The vocals seemingly have no life to them, issued almost as an afterthought throughout. I can hardly believe that this band actually takes this unmitigated mess seriously. The guitars in the track “Unholy Father” are so sloppy it’s maddening. This is one of the most directionless, pointless recordings I’ve ever heard, period. I’m angry I lost a half-hour of my life reviewing this that I’ll never get back! The musicianship on this “effort” borders on the comical; in fact, I seriously did further research to see if this band was, indeed, formed through a lost bet or some long-running joke we’re not in on as fans. If this was just a laugh I’ll just try and giggle through my fits of violent rage at the fact that some poor bass was being tortured needlessly.

The only reason I don’t give this mess zero stars is because, well, like Maximus before me I’m Chris the Merciful. It clearly is a waste of time; dear God, don’t waste time with this. A bad bout of dysentery provides more entertainment. As the last track states: “Can’t Rape the Dead.” No, I suppose not, but you sure can rape the death metal genre quite nicely. Shame on you for such trite drivel!

May 19, 2010